http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4OCPP1s0xU
I just wanted to give my 2 cents worth about this headline. As some or some of you may or may not know this lady is a single mother to already 6 children. She does not have a job or or a significant other. She doesn’t have alot. Because of this she is getting tremendous backlash. Isn’t it funny when the couples had 7 babies everyone was laughing and having fun and everyone wanted to help. This lady they want to know who the irrisponsible dr was that implanted her with the 8 embryos, they think her children should be taken away. Dr.Phil is doing a show on it tomorrow. Apparently she grew up an only child and she wanted a big family. Of the 6 children she had before these ones There is a set of twins.
I wondered why she didn’t wait until she was finished school and had money coming in. Apparently the dr told her if she wanted more kids she had to do it quick because her parts wouldn’t be good much longer. I wanted 6 kids. I lost 3. I lost one do to a traumatic trauma just before I had Sarah. I was 2 months along and the dr said I might have needed surgery if the antibiotics didn’t clean up the infection I got from loosing the baby. it’s the only one I went to the dr for I was in so much pain and it just hurt so bad. He told me not to try again for 6 mos but I was so devestated I just wanted to replace that ache, that emptiness right away so yeah everyone knew I was trying when I got pregnant with Sarah. Dr was not impressed with me but he knew why I got pregnant. It’s odd DJ he looks just like his dad, and Sarah she too looks just like her dad. Mary is the one who everyone says omg you look like your mother.
Anyway yeah Nadya’s babies are so tiny, so cute. I just don’t know how she is gonna raise all those babies alone. I think her older kids are going to end up taking some of the brunt of parenting. Apparently Dateline has taken on hate mail from people because they interviewed Nadya. What is wrong with people. Sending her death threats. Hoping she dies, wishing her ill will? What is wrong with people. Do you realize she has been a mother for years already and you wish these kids to not have their mother? Yeah she has maybe not made a decision that we may not all agree with what she did but it’s done and there are much worse crimes than to have children. Your anger can be better placed elsewhere like pedophiles and rapists don’t you think? I don’t know that’s just me…
Author Archive for ladyillusions
I have to say I don’t regret anyone I have been with I may not like the way it happened or the way it ended but something in me cared for them at the time. I have to say the most recent makes me laugh another Mike I think I need to keep away from Mikes they all end badly not like horrible badly just badly in different ways. A few of us think this recent Mike may not have been telling the whole truth about his situation. My daughter thinks I should tell his friends and write it on his wall and just completely out him. but no I’m fine with it. Everything happens for a reason, although I can be vengeful just really don’t care I feel karma has him marked anyhow. Funny my daughter reminds me so much of the old me I hate it. Bothers me alot, I keep wishing she would take what I learned and that I changed and go with that but instead she is repeating my old behaviour and when I talk to her about it she says how does it feel to watch it happening like I did? Like a punch in the gut. I just tell her don’t do it for the many years I did. What bothers me too is I spent time one night talking to her bf and she was mad when she finally came home, she told me she is not a little girl anymore that I can’t fix everything. I wanted to cry. I want to help, I want to fix, it’s hard just to listen o her and her bf work it out alone. I always thought when my kids were teens it would be so much fun, however my son he has actually said sometimes you need a stern parent not a friend. That’s hard. I had hardass dad really hardass military hardass and I don’t want to be like that. Teens are very hard to raise. I keep thinking my 2 oldest are almost adults. My psychiatrist has said I am already going through empty-nest syndrome. Everytime they talk about moving out on their own I just cry and panic I feel like their leaving me. I know it’s inevitable. But it’s hard for me to deal with.
UPDATE: I HAVE TO WRITE THIS BECAUSE MIKE WAS A MAN HE STOOD UP HE TOOK WHAT HE DID AND HE ACTUALLY APOLOGIZED! So apparently there is guys out there who even though can do lousy acts can still be sweet but confused. Things happened that just went too fast and I think both of us got hurt or at the very least confused. I have to say thankyou Mike for apologizing and standing up and being honest although it took some words and a little ache it means the world to me that my trust was not misguided in the end you stood up to some big things that most wouldn’t that will always mean alot to me. I’m glad we can remain friends, I only wish more men were like you *hugs*
So I swear to God lately service seems to be bad everywhere we go lately. We went to thrifty foods at admirals walk a few days ago and we wanted 3 egg sandwhiches and they said they were just finishing making it up. So we went and got drinks and came back. They were acting very confused. Eventually they figured out where the egg mix was and then where the bread was. Then omg were all confused about items to put on the sandwhiches got them all wrong, but we were in a hurry and weren’t in the mood to try and get them to do it right. We were so frustrated. Just grabbed them and went to pay for them. Must have been a bad day cause there too we had issues with the lady at the till. A customer was trying to find out if there was money on her gift cards so she could reload them and the lady at the till looked like could not figure out what she wanted and finally figured out how to check them then was unsure how to reload them, finally she got it done and we were rung through we were in there entirely way too long!
I’m on the lookout for more victoria frances posters. I totally love her work. It would be awesome if the clothes that she puts on the ladies in her work were buyable. I love the dresses I would love to wear them. One thing people do notice when they come to my place is my love of vampires but they don’t realize yes I love vampires but if you look at all the posters although their vampires they are victoria frances.
If you are a pet owner cat or dog buy them GREENIES I have no idea what the hell is in these treat but my cats go crazy for the chicken ones. I am not kidding, there is something about these treats that drives them crazy. My cat CASPER when I got a trial treat for them came down stairs into the livingroom climbed up onto the table and right to the GREENIES. My cats have only ever done something like that with catnip. For dogs they even have cookies.. For a free sample go to http://www.greenies.com they even have ones you can put their pills in if they have to take medication. I never have advocated anything for animals before but these treats are amazing and they help clean their teeth.
So we’ve been trying those thinsations we like the oreo ones the best and there is lots the commercial is not kidding when they say there is lots, there certainly are. I also like the peek freans shortcake ones.
I also love the Quaker granola crunchers the chocolate flavour only 90 calouries for a package. we’ve tried the Quaker Crispy delights also 90 calories a pkg chocolaty drizzle & vanilla drizzle we didn’t like either they tasted like styrofoam
Mary tried the new OhHenry cookies and didn’t take more than 2 bites she thought they were disgusting.
I recently found Tropical Orange Smoothie Flavour Bacardi Breezer OMG it is so good if you like orange creamsicles you would love this it’s like mega awesome:)
My new laundry soap is Gain Soothing Sensations Lavender Lilac Moment Goes really well with my Bounce Lavender febreeze OMG when I washed my bedding in it for the first time, I could smell it soon as I walked in my room. I LOVE LAVENDER! I love Lilacs as well. Mary says she is sick of lavendar I buy Febreeze in as many products as I can because they now have it in lavender. The products I use because of the lavender febreeze contained in it is: Mr.Clean magic eraser, Mr. clean cleaner, febreeze spray, bounce, swiffer. I would like to see it in dishsoap. I would love Lavender products for body and hair that are straight strong lavender, body spray as well. It is a natural relaxant for me:)
We bought the stick up bulb it runs on batteries, mine did not work. Mary’s is already dead. It comes with 2 tiny bulbs. My suggestion would be don’t buy it!
Also scrubbing bulbs recently came out with that device to pop a sticker in your toilet to clean your toilet everyday and to never have to throw it out it just fades away on it’s own. Yeah ok. We bought it. It’s not a stick it’s goo, seriously goo. Trying to think how to compare it, kinda like slime a thick sline. It all sits in this plastic tube for just over $4. You move the thing up kinda like a syringe so it alots the first part of the goo and the goo sits in your toilet. It’s green goo. It’s about the size of a canadian twoonie. We haven’t seen it clean shit. So it’s lookin so far like it’s $4 to have goo dissolve in our toilet:)
Mary was having mega pain in her right side, we took her to the clinic and they immedietly sent her to the hospital. The nurse told her they would run blood tests get her on an IV. However once the dr came he was really nasty to her, very dismissive. He didn’t seem to give two shits about her. Sent her home telling her that it’s probably a cyst that is rupturing in her ovary and to take some tylenol and deal with it. Oh I was pissed, but he wasn’t listening to me either. Damn it I hate some dr’s. She should of at least had an ultrasound to make sure that’s what it was!
I saw my dr a few days ago she is running more blood tests she cannot figure out what is going on with me and if the blood tests come back inconclusive again she sending me to an internist. I am not sure what an internist does but if they can figure out what the hell is going on I guess that’s what I have to do. I am so tired of going to dr’s though:( My dr is like why can’t you have something simple wrong. I was like I know I hate it. I just want someone anyone to figure this shit out. I am so tired of passing out for no reason and eating salt to hell and the pain in my muscles and joints is getting more and more unbearable at times. She’s doing a test on my calcium level. I told her whatever I drink so much milk it’s not funny I can drink 4 litres in 2 days sometimes 1 day and she said that does not mean my body is taking it in. Are you serious?
Oh this is funny: These two guys were parked at the lights down by mayfair mall and all of a sudden this guy threw a fresh cigarette out his window and his friend is yelling and I tell my kid pick it up she won’t tell her friend to pick up she doesn’t so I go pick it up and throw it back in the trusk *lmfao* The guy had udder shock on his face and didn’t know what the hell just happened and everyone is laughing. I had to run and catch the bus and he threw it back out the window lol~so bud if your out there or any of your friends I’m the crazy bitch who threw the cigarette back into the truck lol on douglas street at the lights by mayfair mall.
Another thing I told my daughter I would blog about We were on the bus coming home, both of us had alot of bags to carry so she was on one seat with all her bags and I sat behind her with all my bags. Then some fricken lady got on and she told Mary to move she was sitting there. I couldn’t believe Mary listened that was one time that lady was in the wrong there were a bunch of seats open there was so no need to be fricken runde. What the hell is wrong with people?
I love this new show the dr’s. I just heard in the state of alabama you have to pay an extra 35 dollars on your insurance if you are overweight a year. That is discriminatory. I think that is a crock if you ask me.
So my house is a little busy right now, Mary’s BF is living here until he gets into youth housing. His sister & Mary’s friend Maryiln is also here for a couple of weeks until she moves to be with her parents in Port. Her BF has been spending some time here Russell he’s a good kid very easy to get along with makes me laugh. I guess he’ll be 17 this week. His brother Clarence is up visiting for a few days 18 I believe.
DJ got a job throwing Whak a Ball at the mall I bought 3 egg balls. I believe he is also doing a volunteer job, been attending pre grad parties already and keeping up with school. I’m a little worried he’s going to get burnt out. Doing too much. I want this year to be as much fun as possible grad year so much stuff he can get involved with, but I don’t want him to do so much he burns out. He’s already gotten sick, he only seems to get sick when he overdoes things, so…
I talked to the kids grandma today cause I am PISSED their trying to get Sarah diagnosed as ADHD she does not have any of the AD…. She’s been tested I told them she didn’t have the pediatrician agreed with me. She has no short term memory which can mock some behaviours, but she’s not AD…. I swear to God I am getting tired of Heidi trying to make Sarah be sick, Sarah is a very healthy child. Slow because of he developmental disabilities, her short term memory loss, anemia but otherwise nothing else is wrong with her, GOD IT IS MAKING ME SO ANGRY!! Breathe breathe breathe….
Ok I am going to go now that I am wound up…
Here I float between the present and the past. somewhere between darkness and light. Is that light ahead or another path of torture disguised as delight? Why do I hold onto the pain so much easier than the happiest times? I have really worked through the last train wreck, i know it wasn’t me, I mean there was part of me I stayed I chose to let it go one but I did finally find the courage within to say no more get out. I have never regretted it. The kids really are better for it. But no one forgets 4 yrs of your life. Like I told him recently I don’t hate him I hate the sick crap he did! So anyhow..
…Lately I somehow found myself on another path and out of the blue I found giggles and laughter. I found intriguement I thought I had lost. What could this mean? I am trying not to get excited, I always get let down when I get excited. But my whole self being is being reawoken and I don’t know I thought I was ready before but Suddenly I think nope NOW I REALLY AM READY.
So it’s kinda scary cause uhm parts of me are waking up I forgot I had lol. Part of me wants to shut back down. It’s kinda that fight or flight response.
I had an RNY and I wrote something the other day. I would like to write here, actually try to remember it here:
There you are my friend, the friend who is always there for my scary moments, my upset moments, my really happy moments. No one can do what you do. Oh you small so good and the textures you provide are so wonderful. Pure aromatherapy. I can cry and share you with me and no one will laugh or tell me to deal with it. what you bring to me can not be matched by anything else. No one has to know. Behind those closed doors it’s just us. As I swallow another bag of chips and the milk goes down so well. Another jos luis oh yes. *tears* you are my true friends you never let me down. Oh the salty fries the glide down so well. Oh I am feeling so fat right now, oh here it comes porcelin bowl my other friend we’re on our way and up it comes over and over, the sweats, the rapid heartbeat the tears, sometimes even passing out right there. Make sure that toothbrush is right there to help that last bit come up. Until the next binge my friends…. This was my life until I had the RNY and was actually hosptal while pregnant with my 3rd child as i managed to loose 60lbs doing this, I was angry as they weighed me everyday. I have to admit I have done it a few times since my rny but I get dumping with my rny and when I have binged it makes me sick almost right away so a binge to me wouldn’t really count to most people but I feel still shameful!
unfortunately my parents made food a huge issue for us and I think about food 24/7 and thus it’s dribbled down to my kids. My oldest he thinks about food but I think he’s pretty healthy, my middle child is too skinny she is trying to ain lbs with protien and my youngest hoardes food , I worry about her alot.
My dad used to tell me I was going to look like my mom the whole time I grew up. It deeply affected me.
So anyhow yeah life is kinda changing for me right now, I think I might be moving towards something that could be making me happy:)
Imagine for a moment that your heart was like a big locket that I could snap open and look into, now imagine I took it and looked inside what would I find within your locked walls?
Would I find feathers and rainbows, a place that is like a window opened up waiting for a soul to share what’s in their heart to make both complete? Soft music that lulled you both towards one another and as I closed the locket we are one within it dancing like we were always meant to be?
Or would I find a darkened heart that has brinck walls, a dark path filled with lightening storms and rain that led me down a darkned forest that could lead me to a dead end and a place I could drown in?
Maybe it’s that heart that at first looks warm and fuzzy but then a wild animal comes out from no where and attacks me and I barely crawl out from the locket taking all I have to close it up.
dare I try to look into each locked heart? I have looked into some dark places before what if the next one burns me alive? What’s in your locked up heart? Your heart looks shiny and sweet on the outside dare I believe it is a show of what’s to come on the inside? Dare I peek on the inside? My head is rushing, my fingers trembling, you have stepped into the ring, you have my intrigue. You have got this scorpio intrigued. My eyes are huge and my stinger is ready to sting, Like an unsure cat just before another strikes it I am there… dare I get closer dare I try. So many thoughts run through my head. Part of me wants to turn and run, so why aren’t I? what is it about you that has my attention and what is it about you that is keeping me here? You already make me smile, you make me laugh, and that special feeling could be a ploy, I should run, so why aren’t? What’s in your locked heart? caution I must use caution…
Close your eyes imagine me by your side. I can feel your breathe on my skin, your hands as they rub my shoulders and move down my back, something magical is happening. How do I stop this feeling, your getting me flushed. I turn and our eyes meet I can’t stop it our lips meet omg you make me melt. I haven’t been to this place for such a long time. I’m not sure I remember where this place leads to. I am not sure I can stop, I’m not sure I want to. Your hands touch my skin and a fire begins to burn on my skin. I touch your skin and the look in your eyes is soft and yet a touch of fire within your pupils. I can see myself in your eyes and I begin to remember what this used to feel like. I tiny shiver runs up my spine as I feel your fingertip trace up the small of my back. do I dare go further from this place? I feed off the hunger you make so obvious, the scent of your cologne teases my scences and only pulls me closer to you. Something I’ve gone so long without sems like yesterday with you here tonight. Our shirts fall to the floor and I smile as we fall onto the bed, any nerves I had you’ve shattered, tonight I wish I was your lover, tonight we will become lovers as our skin burns into one another, as our hands entangle and we become one wild animals leaving all inhibitions on the floor. Yesterdays fears and tears are forgotten and gone, as you tear deeply within me, as I scream out your name and our breath becomes deep and in sync, damn I wish I was lover, and tonight I will be, leaving all inhibitions on the floor…
Bring Back firertalk
years ago I used to be on a program online called FIRETALK. A program I just couldn’t have imagined not ever coming into. You talk live and in person as a group of people in a room. Now I know there is other programs that try to be like it but none have ever come close to the way it was on firetalk. I made some awesome friends, real life friends. We laughed together, cried together, and grew together. I think we were like family and many of us still talk and see one another today. But the reality is we still lost some of them. I really believe the feelings and emotions in there were real time and true. No we didn’t always get along hello it was real life yes we fought too but that how people who love one another are. Somehow we all always worked things out. Some fell in love, some fell out of love. Some became tighter than others but we were all family knit. We want that back, God knows I want that back. I actually grew to really trust these people I could be myself. I didn’t have to be someone I wasn’t, and online that is huge these days cause too many people are something their not. I refuse to be something I am not. take the good with the bad or don’t take me at all that’s how it all comes. Trust me firetalk could be an application you could truly benifit from. If you agree it would be great if you would sign the petition to help us try to get it back, and pass it along….Bringing Back Firetalk http://www.petitiononline.com/Firetalk/petition.html
Let me know your backing me up so that if it does come back you and I will hook up on there ok? *hugs*
Feldman the thing I am upset about is Feldman going on about how fat he thinks he is. Then goes and has liposuction. That’s gotta be putting out good vibes to men and women out there right? suzie thought he looked good, I know his admirers did. His mom was pretty hard on him, God he grew up in a hard home. I’m surprised how well rounded he turned out after hearing out how life growing up was. Corey F. you were fine the way you were and I am sorry you grew up with a mother making you feel low about your looks but you should not feed into her streotypying with such a huge following you are doin the smae to your followers showing them that even your body is not good enough for TV let alone yourself. I hope your happy with your surgery but you did not need it!
Corey Haim I have loved him since he was in lost boys and all his other movies. When he recently admitted he has been a cutter I was like wow he and I have so many things in common. I cry sometimes in the past few episodes of the two Coreys I can see how frustrated he is. I know what it is like to self destruct. You just get that fear and you blow it ithought consciously knowing. I do think he definetly has some chemical problem in the brain like I have bipolar and he does need his meds but sometimes it’s hard to not want to just wanna shut things out. I have never take street drugs to do that but I have been at points where I took too many pills just to shut things up in my head. drinking too. I have sedatives that shut everything down at night or I’d be awake at night. seeing nelle cry that was hard but I know she is having a hard time confronting corey H.
I seriously really hope that Corey Haim doesn’t crash and burn any further than he already has. I freaked when I heard about the car accident. Wow the world would loose a really special man if we lost him, I am seriously concerned for him and think about him alot, he is in my prayers and thoughts. I am glad the accident was able to be of small measures and no one was hurt let’s pray there are no more accidents. We are out here Corey Haim we love you:)
